How does your goal make you feel? Empowered or resistant? Does it feel exciting or burdensome? Take some time to really notice how you feel about it. [We will do some work together on this during this week’s Sunday Slowdown]
What if I am feeling nothing but resistant and/or the goal feels burdensome?
There’s a couple things that could be going on.
- This goal is not really YOUR goal. You have to be selfish when setting goals. Ask yourself, “Is this something I really want?”
- You do not have a STRONG enough reason. Know your why! Your reason for wanting to achieve this goal needs to align with your values. You may have a strong goal, but have yet to determine what your real reason is for why you want to achieve this goal. Go deeper with the toddler drill [fast forward to 11:35 in the video below for the how to on the toddler drill]. Ask yourself, “Is this something I really want?”
What if I feel excited and empowered by my goal, but there’s still some resistance and burdensome feelings coming up, too?
The resistance and burdensome feelings may actually be FEAR in disguise. There is a huge difference between fear and the other feelings like resistance. With the other feelings, you may need to rethink what you have chosen to be your goal. But if it is really fear that you are feeling, then know that you have chosen a good direction and just need to press forward. Do not cut yourself short by not going for a goal because of fear. Fear is natural, and is actually a good sign, especially when it comes to goal setting. That means that you have chosen a goal that actually matters to you and you know that it will make a real difference.
What if I have absolutely no fear about my goal?
Then there’s a bit of an issue. It is more than likely that your dream needs to be bigger – much bigger. Feel the fear, then lean into it.
Stay Dreaming Big!
When deciding what goal to focus on, choose your game changer. This is the one that will have the most positive impact on your life. Before committing your energy to a goal, make sure it meets the two goal requirements–
- It needs to be YOURS!
- It needs to be STRONG!
When you find your true game changer your motivation will be high (despite the natural fear) because you will have a great desire to make it happen for you. Work towards something that will pull you, not needing for you to push all the way there. When your goal is magnetic, you relieve the tension and the ride becomes more of a stroll rather than than a trudge uphill. Enjoy the ride babe!
Last night on The Mindful Glow Up we did some simple journaling to help zero in on what your game changer is and how to be certain that it meets both of the goal requirements. Check it out…
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Everything we do is because we want to feel (or don’t want to feel) a certain way. Our emotions are at the core of every choice we make. Why did you eat that cookie? Because you are bored and believe that eating that cookie will make you feel satisfied and delighted. This is a small example but the same applies to every action we make: big and small.
- I made a smoothie for breakfast becuase I was hungry and wanted to feel healthy and bright.
- I quit my day job because I felt exhausted and depleted (among other things), and I wanted to feel at peace and faithful.
- I got a divorce because I felt unheard and underappreciated (among other things), and wanted to feel independent and full of love.
- I’m going to Disneyland today because I want to feel excited and enjoyed by my babies.
There is a certain feeling that you believe each action will give you, and that is why you do it. When committing to your goals, ask yourself what feelings you are trying to get to or get away from once the action is complete. Know your why! In order to follow through on any action, your why needs to weigh stronger than the required effort. Knowing your why is the first step.
Remember: Your thoughts create your emotions. Your emotions power your actions. And your actions of course determine your results.
If you want to join me for a deep dive into knowing your why for your goals, tune in for the Mindful Glow Up this Sunday at 7:07pm on FB/IG Live.
Plan A is a predictable and linear path. Plan A is the option that makes the most sense initially. It is the first route you’d take, the first solution to any problem, and the first option on any platter.
It is not until you are in the weeds of Plan A that you realize it’s not working or at least is not your forever solution. Cue in Plan B. Plan B’s path may not be as linear as Plan A, but goes surprisingly smoother than Plan A. In other words, it’s a little more curvy and a little less bumpy.
I feel the need to clarify one thing: Plan A is not useless and is in fact very much needed! Plan A needs to be tried to get to what really works: Plan B. Plan B would not make sense without first giving Plan A a go. You have to know Plan A does not work so that you can cross it out and go to the next option.
So by all means, do Plan A. It is often the only option you can see at the starting line anyway. But watch out for extreme attachment to Plan A. Keep your goal in mind and remember there’s many ways you can get there (even if only one makes sense right now). You wont be able to see Plan B clearly if you are married to Plan A.
If you are in the trenches of Plan A and notice that things aren’t working out where you are at, you have a few options:
- Stick to Plan A at all costs, and wait until Plan A drops you. Just a bit of a warning: when Plan A drops you, it won’t be softly.
- Take one foot out of Plan A and feel around for what else is there. You wont be able to see Plan B clearly because you still are at least partially invested in Plan A.
- Choose Plan B. Drop Plan A, and listen for the adventure Plan B has for you.
In any case, you will eventually end up at your Plan B and once there, you will learn that it has been the best option all along.
Join me for the Mindful Glow Up #3 this Sunday on FB/IG Live where we will start to focus in on the goals that we need to focus on now.
Stay Open to Life!